It’s no secret by now: my number one goal is to teach women a new connection with their bodies. It’s about shifting the experience of who we are into a new realm of awareness. Not to make the current one bad or good, but to make it present, clear, and connected.
I style women to help them experience a deeper connection to themselves.
In my experience, women who are authentically real - which means vulnerable and clear about who they are and what is going on in life, the good and the bad - experience a more connected and tangible experience of success and fulfillment.
They begin to live in the world interconnected, instead of internalized or externalized.
Dressing to enhance your experience of YOU is all about creating connection to what is. Yup, just to inspect and express exactly what is there.
The reason why I need to teach this is I need to learn it over and over again myself.
My first encounter with divorcing or disassociating myself was at 6 years old. I wasn’t asked permission to have my body touched or played with. All I knew was that I must do what he was telling me. It was then that I learned it is better to please other people before yourself. The deep wisdom of the body was not available to me - meaning, I cut it off in search of external gratification.
It seems crazy that a 6-year-old must take on the role of objectifying herself to get attention, but it is what I learned. And man, has that habit been hard to kill.
I have spent years in therapy to reclaim ownership of my body. I have left jobs because I just couldn't handle the way my boss (mostly men) treated me or spoke to me. I subconsciously objectified myself on every date, making it impossible to truly gain respect from any potential partner.
The abandonment became a repeat offender in my life. After more than 13 surgeries and multiple rapes, my adult wisdom and education still struggles to show up in times of regression or triggers.
The most important relationship we have in life is with ourselves. Often it is the last one we resort to.
Right now, more than ever, the lessons I teach on adorning the body are what I need. The adorning process is about connecting to the body to guide you to trust yourself and lead you on your healing journey. I have released resistance more than ever as I seek the desired sensation and experience inside my own body. I know that with my care team that I am in good hands, and my body is being treated right. Knowing what is right for me, regardless of any outside perspective, is powerful. And what feels powerful to me is my own new sense of sexy.
Clothing is an immediate tool to provide support to the weakness in my body, layered with the releasing of anger trapped inside, layered with the projection of my true soul's essence, layered with protecting that which is truly not ready to be seen or vulnerable. It taps me into what my body needs, and I can serve it on a micro level.
When the #metoo movement started, a flood of memories came rushing in. The fog of all the layers of rape, abuse, and medical misuse stopped me in my tracks. Thinking, “I must say something, I have something to say, yes, me too,” but honestly I subconsciously slid back into trauma mode. I got lost in the fog. Self-doubt snuck in. My partnership was flipped inside out, and my business felt shaky.
Reliving the moments I have worked through for so much of my adult life and relating to women stepping forward brought me to a place of extreme fear. Like it was all happening again. So each day I applied my tools, the ones I know have worked to connect me in the past, and I adorned my body so I could show up.
I was able to show up, but not enough to shine. It felt like my own work, my creation stopped working; then I realized the trauma was bigger than me. The anger and fear were greater than I was even able to communicate.
I got quiet.
I found solace and peace in silence for the first time. I looked for relaxation in being alone, but she wasn’t willing to show up consistently.
Running a business built on inspiration and transformation while feeling trapped in my own existence became daunting.
Thoughts rolled through my mind….
“Man, me too, but honestly, I am done.”
“Do they know we women have been programmed since the beginning of time? This is a cultural thing, not just bad man against weak woman.”
“Is everyone seeking attention?”
“How does my story fit in?”
“Keep quiet, just as you were told, it’s not important.”
Trauma has a funny way of creeping back in and then before you know it, you are surrounded by triggers no matter where you are or what you see. So I take solace in the fact that not every woman is ready to say, “Me too.” That I may have been ill-advised and hushed because culturally we were not ready to crack open the wound 20 years ago. I recognize that I have spent a greater part of 26 years healing wounds and patterns.
I never stop believing that my soul has great wisdom to impart in this life. That the stars are divinely aligned. When those moments fade away, I find new ones in a silk robe, a glass of kombucha, Outlander, and some fuzzy slippers.
Reprogramming takes all forms. I have shrunk my community, I have called in a new support structure. I have simplified my world in ways that 10 years ago I would have rejected and proclaimed as failure. I had to make big decisions to recommit to myself in a new, bigger way.
Now I adorn what is. My soul stands brightly in what happened, and I shine each day teaching women to adorn their own bodies to learn their deep wisdom in whatever form it is taking.
My business is built on learning to be present with yourself and adorn what is. My clients and students learn to use the kinetic experience of getting dressed to deepen their connection and experience of themselves.
Adorning what is as an expression, so they too can walk through the present moment with honesty with what is, no matter how dark that moment may be, and still know how to embrace their body, their soul, and their wisdom.
For a deeper experience, you can see my my Maine Live talk here on the Healing Power of Clothing.
The experience you have inside your body is the true form of manifestation. You must feel it to activate it and live it. The kinetic experience of getting dressed is where it's at to activate true alignment and a shift into manifestation. I have witnessed it with hundreds of clients.
If you have been a victim of abuse, assault or abandonment, my heart goes out to you. I feel you. Know that you are not alone. I am here for you, and my community is here for you. Our businesses exist to grow and glow through all shadows.
I would love to hear what is coming forward for you. Leave a comment below.