We are well in to the New Year!! I know you have your hustle on!
Something came up for me while I was away on vacation. I realized that I have spent most of my life making sure the way I dress is different, or different enough. I never want to be wearing the same thing in the room as someone else. I mean who does, but it happens. It got me thinking about what I believe and how I used to torture myself with fashion.
Style is an essence. (tweet this)
Sometimes I get so pissed off when people look for approval based on their clothes. I may sound like a hypocrite, but it's true what you wear matters but who you are matters more.
I made so many self-defeating decisions based on the reality that I couldn't afford the handbags, shoes and designer duds that many of my friends wore. I told myself I wasn't worth it.
When I would open up fashion magazines, instead of looking at them with fresh inspired eyes, I would lament over the fact that I could not go out and buy the clothes.
But when I stepped back and got focused on what really mattered, the voices went silent. I have a deep creative spirit that has been fighting to come out. It is finding its moment now.
Even though I wanted a Louis Vuitton bag, my rent had to be paid, food had to be on the table, and I was doing the responsible thing. But in reality, my self-esteem was based on a bag. I spent a few months renting some from Bag, Borrow or Steal. Trying them on for size. Seeing if it was worth the investment. I remember it mattered so much to me that I saved and saved and I was given money from a boyfriend. Over the course of 3 months, I put together the extra $1,200 I needed to feel “worth it.”
One spring weekend in 2012, I walked into Bloomingdale’s after tirelessly researching price and the best buying experience, and I got myself the signature logo Neverfull Louis Vuittontote. I wore it everywhere, every day, for 2 years. My side kick. I told my boss one day while we were walking into a sales call that the gate keepers were nice to me because of my bag. On the inside, the bag had tipped a value spectrum for me, and so few objects had ever affected me that way. It was an affliction of “comparisonitis.”
My silent obsession with Louboutins, Prada, LVMH, Miu Miu, Chloe (the list goes on) was setting me back daily as I felt like in the hustle of New York City my J. Crew, BCBG, and second-hand designer goods just weren't up to snuff. I was an imposter.
The fact that a moment of my life was consumed by this sort of sense of lack due to outward appearances makes me angry. I was not ignorant to it and have spent years in therapy to boost that esteem and find outlets to transform the misinterpretations.
There will be contrasts in how we choose what to wear. There will be value differences. There will be accent choices. There will be color ranges. We are all different.
What I couldn't do was sit by and watch another woman like myself sit and look for approval from the outside based on how she looks. I want to honor how she feels. I love to teach her how to curate how she feels into a look. Magnifying her soul. Creating a style essence is where it's at.
Do you want to....
Feel like your warrior self?
I know I do. I commit to it every day. And I dress it up.
Follow this exercise:
1. Sit in a quiet spot however you feel comfortable.
2. Put your hands on your belly.
3. Take a deep breath.
4. Let your hands expand and contract.
5. Do this for 5 minutes and let your imagination take you places. Let images pass through you. Keep them coming.
6. Once you are done, take a step back and write about what you saw.
7. Now go make a quick private Pinterest board.
8. Check in a few days later.
9. What do you see?
I love this process because it is complete freedom. It is a brainstorm built off a connection to your body. Your body holds the key to your soul. Learn its language and you will learn how to dress it.
No more stuffing yourself into jeans that don't fit. Or wearing hand-me-downs that are tattered and worn. No more hiding in oversized sweaters. No more shying away from your spotlight moment. No more depending on logos and designer names for your self-esteem.
You have to dive in now to find you essence. It's all around you. It's in you. Start searching for it now. Begin living your vision inside and out.
P.S. Ready to find your true style? It is time to magnify your body and brand.
- Learn what in your body is blocking your brand
- Learn what your body really needs to wear
- Learn how to dress to express brand
- Learn what colors work for you and your brand
- Learn what elements work for you and your brand
- Learn what to buy and where to get it
Get You Mic Drop Mission right here. I can't wait for you to rock your world!