Chaos to Clarity


We are made up of many different parts.  All of our experiences, adventures, and traumas create and contribute to our present perspective.  The healing journey is really about getting to know all the personas that make us who we are, and accessing our truth.  The transformation happens when we realize a part of ourselves that used to serve us no longer does. 

Last week, I spoke about my journey at Mama Gena’s School for Womanly Arts.  I shared how the journey with my Sister Goddess community allowed me to embrace all parts of me, including the previously undiscovered and those that were holding me back.  Choosing my future direction is a conscious plan, and now, it's a dialogue between me and the Divine. 

In the past, I had a subconscious philosophy that if I was busy I must be ‘getting things done’, that I was contributing,' or offering value to others, or becoming successful.  This can be true if our priorities are right, but mostly it’s an exhausting perspective.

I was unaware that, actually, this way of being was full of setbacks.  My daily routine deprived me of vital energy.  I packed every hour with things to do.  Now, I understand this cycle. 

At the time, I was living in New York City, and working in lifestyle medicine for the most successful nutraceutical line out there for doctors.  I was teaching doctors nutrition and lifestyle protocols to reverse chronic illness, and I was sick as all get out.  I was a poor example of what I was teaching.  My days were filled from the get-go; I was socially overbooked and spiritually under-fulfilled.  I kept reaching for the ‘next big thing’, while my body was saying ‘no, stop, I can't take any more.'

It was stuff, stuff, stuff, run, run, run and zero digestion or assimilation. 

The truth is, no matter how pristine our diet is, how much we meditate or keep our budget in line, if our mindset and environment are not aligned: chaos reveals itself.

I have this persona, a part of me that contributes to my life.  Her name is Chaos Carrie.  She is alluring, very competent, over-commits and never shuts down.  She also has very little capacity to digest life, stay on course or show up consistently. 

I went to Emerson College to study acting and film production.  She reveled in this.  During college, I learned the details of story and character development.  In our lives today, we all have the power to choose who plays a role in our journey, once we are aware of all of the characters playing in the game. 

After the winter and spring program at The School for Womanly Arts, I became aware of the power that Chaos Carrie has had in my life.  I am glad to say she is being put to rest.  In the past month as I took time to settle and digest my experience, her role was revealed.  I learned she no longer serves me. 

In the healing process there are many awakenings.  We all have them; they come to us as moments of enlightenment.  Enlightenment is not a grand finale where we vibrate out into thin air. At least, this is what I understand at this moment in my spiritual development.  Enlightenment is culmination the moments we have, insight on how we show up in this world, interact with others, treat ourselves and support our loved ones. 

How do you show up?  What do you take responsibility for?

These moments of clarity encourage and welcome an alignment with the self and with the universe.  The more I align my body, mind, and spirit with all of my actions, the more the Universe shows up in FLOW.  Gifts come alive, and gems are revealed.  Angels step forward.  New places are found in old locations.  There is a treasure at the end of every rainbow.  The present moment becomes more of a gift with each and every breath.  A feeling of ‘I have arrived’ settles inside with each conscious breath.

Over the next ten weeks I will be unraveling the journey of The Passionate Rebel.  I will be sharing with you the creation of The Passionate Rebels journey and the seven elements to curate your most emboldened life. 

Join me in embracing your wisdom, wildness and well being.  Start your internal revolution down below. I would love to hear about your life.  Welcome to the Passionate Rebel Lifestyle!  Click here to join me for weekly tips, clips and tricks.

Living wildly well and loving you,