Go into three different stores and try on clothes and chances are, you’re going to “be” three different sizes. Talk about a mental trip. It can be debilitating for many women because we’ve been subconsciously taught for so long that our value and worth depend on the size of our clothes.
Often, we’ll leave feeling like we’re less than, like nothing fits, and overall feeling pretty crappy.
Of course, it’s impossible for you to be three different sizes, so what gives?
Sadly, this kind of experience happens all the time with many of my clients. I have this client who was so annoyed that she had tried on so many different clothes in so many sizes because she thought she knew her size.
Really, this is a reminder that the self-esteem you’re cultivating by creating a style that is specific to you has nothing to do with the number on the tag of a garment. Sure, it’s important to know your size but be okay with the fact that you might be an 8 in one store, a 6 in another, and a 4 somewhere else (we call it the range). Sizing doesn’t depend on what the number on the tag reads – it depends on how the manufacturer cut the clothing.
Your size is not equal to your esteem. You can’t feel bad about your body when you try on clothes because the change in sizing has nothing to do with you and everything to do with the piece of clothing in question.
Like the show, This is Us. On that show, the character Kate wants to fit into a size seven. The way the scene is shot makes us think that she’s not going to fit into it because she is so accustomed to feeling bad about her body that she didn’t know how to feel good. So she couldn’t’ wear the dress that actually fit her at a size seven and instead reinforced the negative body image she was used to and tried on a size five.
Clothes aren’t made to totally fit you. We kind of get lost in that idea, right? It’s so easy to get into a loop of negative self-talk.
But here’s the problem with mass-produced fashion:
The clothes aren’t made to fit your body perfectly; they’re made to kinda-sorta fit everyone.
I know. It sounds too simple to be true. But think about it.
There’s no template version for all clothing manufacturers to use anymore. The sizing system was created to mass-produce clothing, and since you’re the only one of you, there’s no way that stuff right off the rack is going to fit perfectly all the time.
Before the Industrial Revolution, most people didn’t have a ton of clothes. The pieces they had were created specifically for them, which means they rocked each look because the piece fit perfectly!
So there are some ways that you can get around this annoying side effect of the 21st century.
Finding a tailor you love and trust is key. So is figuring out how to try on clothes when you’re shopping. Both of these steps are crucial to making sure that what you’re buying is going to adorn your body in the most perfect way possible.
Really, here’s a chance to relish in the fact that there’s no one like you! When you alter clothing to fit your body, then you’re owning and claiming the piece as being yours, right? Since we all know that once you’ve decided on your style you’ve taken the first step to authenticating your true self, this is something that just has to happen. It’s a key part of the process.
And wow. If that’s not empowering, I don’t know what is!
Download my Top Ten Style Revolution tips that you can use the next time you go shopping to help avoid this loop of negativity.
Rebecca Minkoff Chevron Quilted Small Love Crossbody